Friday, August 30, 2013

Short story: Three little words

In order to get myself in the mode of refreshing my writing process, I thought it would be fun and challenging to write a weekly short story based off of random moments in my life. This will prove to be quite hilarious...there are a lot of strange stories that come or of La La land.
I got to talking with a co-worker about words and how the implication can transform into something entirely different. The meaning of them change, the way we use them change, and the cool factor may go from lame to awesome. It’s interesting to see how some words that used to mean something insanely derogatory, is now used in a way that makes you seem like a bad ass M F’er. Or on the flip side, something that was considered the epitome of cool is now seen as dumb in the trying to be ironic and failing. Words intrigue me, and the meaning we put behind them…so here is a little short for your enjoyment :)

There is quite an absurdity to life in your mid twenties when you are dating. It’s actually strange how certain moments grab hold of you and you are unable to twist your thoughts around it to move on to more interesting productive actions. You sit, you stare, you glance off into the distance realizing more than a hour later that you have achieved absolutely nothing at all but to idly obsess over one single moment, whether it be good or bad you can’t stop from thinking about it.
I sit here and stare, off into nothing and think of the moment I said those three little words that should never have passed through my lips. Three little words that should never had surfaced, should never had seen the light of day, but there it is. Out in the open for all onlookers to see, the spot light blazing in my eyes as I said it, and I know the man standing in front of me most definitely heard it. Why, why did I think that was a good idea, why did I say it. Those words are secret, they are just for me to know, just for me to hold on to but they bubbled up out between my lips before I could stop them and in reaction his face completely bled of color. Speechless is what they call it, but it more looked as though I hit him full on in the face with a MAC truck. “You what?” he said to me, voice shaking with surprising volume.
My mouth froze sticking in movement as though cotton had been shoved down my throat yards at a time. Nothing spilled from my lips this time, I was stuck in a desert of silence. He blinked, and I blinked back, he huffed loudly and I sighed with anxiety. It was done, I said it, and there was no going back. Finally my eyes closed, and I felt it, the shame and remorse over what I had done. I just couldn’t believe it, how could I have been so stupid. The walls of protection guarding my well being had been up and tightly locked for a reason, but that night, that one moment a fissure broke loose one brick and in quick secession the entire barricade broke loose. It was over, I had crossed the line, and there was no going back now.
A tender hand lifted my chin from my chest, and it made me nervous to look up, but I bared my responsibility to react only to find my eyes colliding with a bright and smiling face. “Say it again,” he said deeply, no longer allowing an ounce of nervousness to enter his tone. “Say it again, I want to hear it.”
It was a joke I had thought, there was no way he would actually want me to repeat what I had just said, no possible way he was being sincere. In all my years never had a situation like this turned so quickly, no one else had reached this platform of trust with me like he had, but still I was uncertain. I had said it once and immediately regretted it, now it would just be pure torture to see him walk away after I uttered the syllables out loud a second time.
“Are you sure?” I asked hesitantly, not quite trusting of my voice. It shook like a wobbly leaf blowing in the autumn winds of Chicago, it was a miracle my voice was still hanging on intact.
“Of course I am sure,” he said with sudden excitement, only causing my muscles and bones to immediately give away with relief. His eyes blazed brilliantly, an honest and vivid blue filled with complete and total understanding. He quickly rummaged through his pack tossed idly on the ground and dug out a tattered paperback book. On the cover read “Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.” My eyes snapped back up to his with a shocking impact slapping into my chest. “You too!”
“Say it, I wanna hear you say it again,” he said, pulling me closer so that my lips barely grazed his ear.
My lips parted and without hesitation I said the three little words that I had kept hidden and close to my heart, the dark secret I was too afraid to ever admit until this very moment. “I’m a nerd.”

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