Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Well now I thought every relationship was easy...said no one ever

I think my favorite type of love story is a tortured tragic love story, mainly because it’s emotional and pulls at the heart strings in such an intense and heartbreakingly beautiful way. Love is amazing, beautiful, terrifying, wonderful, painful, and torturous in such great and life changing ways.

(TITANIC…I’ll never let go Jack, I will never let go! Or maybe Tristan and Isolde….Know that I love you Tristan. Wherever you go, whatever you see. I will always be with you. Tristan: You were right. I don't know if life is greater than death. But love was more than either.)

In all these tragic and tortured love stories though they always…die. They never remain through the years of typical life struggles. We love these stories because they are beautiful and romantic in the way they are so tragic, but what about the 16 year marriage the worked every day to make things beautiful and then failed? Not only failed but in turn ended the union with a signature on a piece of paper without even a glance back at what brought them together in the first place. You see I love the meet cute, the adorable moment when sparks fly, the hard part is writing about the life long struggle of….life. The change, the in’s and out’s the up’s and down’s, everything changes over a lifetime of living, yet we only ever really discuss the love story of the beginning. We never really show the love story at the end, or how the struggles in the middle lead to a defeat of the problems.

I can’t say there are NO stories, of course there are, but they aren’t quite as popular in a “Oh my god I loved that!!” kinda way. Ever see the movie Closer? It was a breaking apart and ruining of every relationship in the movie. Marriages failed, relationships were tested, and everything fell apart into a pile of ash with Natalie Portman walking down the side walk at the end looking all hot and sexy in slow motion. I liked the movie yes, but I LOVED Tristan and Isolde, I LOVE The Notebook, and I seriously totally love love love The Gladiator (Did I throw you there hehe, that is also a tortured love story. He is trying to get back to his wonderful wife, and {{SPOILER IF YOU HAVEN”T SEEN THIS MOVIE FOR SOME STRANGE REASON}}……the wife and his son totally dies before he can return home then at the end he finally is reconciled with them in death). These movies are wonderful and amazing but they are missing the one thing that keeps it more realistic for us in everyday life….the reality of growing up and apart or together.

Now, there is a book I found that brought this beautifully together. After The Notebook, Nicholas Sparks wrote The Wedding, which is based off of the children of Allie and Noah. Coincidentally the older Noah is in the book too, it’s really cool to see his older man perspective as well. The best part about this book is it starts with the Husband of Noah’s daughter and how he failed to be a good husband and what he is trying to do to make it better. He at first blames life, circumstance, his job, but he realizes that it’s mainly about how he has lived his life. His wife is distant and unhappy, and he sets about making her happy again. It’s a wonderful book and an amazing read, DEFINITLY something every man and woman should read before getting married, or even 15 years into marriage. It’s a winner for sure.

I think my point today is that as much as I love tragic beautiful epic love stories, the truth is real life can be so much harder. And even though every day life is already hard, if you want love to work and be amazing you have to do the extra work to make it happen. A friend of mine posted this link that also has some amazing tips for a marriage, but I think these apply to every relationship both male and female sides.

Basically, relationships are difficult as all hell, but the great stories lie in the hard work to make it a happy ending.

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